THE LYCEUM TAVERN



ALPINE RATING: 10 OUT OF 10




354 STRAND, WC2R OHS, LONDON.
COVENT GARDEN, TEMPLE AND CHARING CROSS TUBE.




OUTSTANDING.
THIS IS THE FIRST HOUSE OF UNCLE SAM'S THAT IS PERFECTION PERSONIFIED. MANY HAVE COME CLOSE (THE SWISS, CITTIE OF YORKE, THE CHAMPION AND THE ORDNANCE ARMS), BUT THIS ONE GETS THE CIGAR.
THIS IS THE PUB.
IF A MARSHAN FROM OUTER SPACE LANDED ON THIS SICK, CRIPPLED PLANET AND DEMANDED "TAKE ME TO THE BEST PUB YOU HAVE".... IT WOULD BE HERE!!
NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.






AS SOME OF YOU ARE AWARE, I'M A COMPLETE SUCKER FOR BIG OLD LAMPS. PART OF THE BEAUTY OF UNCLE SAMS HOUSES IS THE STRANGE OLD 'BEER LIGHTS' THAT HANG GLORIOUSLY OUTSIDE A NUMBER HIS STATELY HOMES. THE LYCEUM, ALTHOUGH NOT THE BIGGEST, ARE CERTAINLY THE MOST STYLISH (SEE ABOVE PHOTO).
THE BEER LIGHTS HERE ARE THE MUSTARD.

OTHER REVIEWS OF THIS PLACE SEEM TO BE QUITE MIXED. BUT IT MATTERS NOT. I AM THE EXPERT ON ALL THINGS ALPINE/TADDY WITH BUBBLES AND A HEALTHY FROTHY HEAD. THIS IS THE BEST VENUE SO FAR I HAVE FOUND THAT IS THE APPROPRIATE AGENT TO DISTRIBUTE SUCH HEAVENLY CONTRABAND.
IT'S MY OPINION THAT MATTERS HERE, REMEMBER THAT!
YOU WOULDN'T READ MY REVIEWS IF YOU DIDN'T TRUST MY OPINION OR WARPED RANTS.




THE INTERIOR OF THIS CLASSY BOOZER IS SLEEK TO SAY THE LEAST. LIKE THE 'CITTIE OF YORKE', THIS PLACE HAS BOOTHS TO SIT IN. THE BOOTHS ARE JUST AS GOOD AS THE FOR MENTIONED PUB. NOPE, SCRATCH THAT. THESE BOOTHS ARE BETTER...
CLASSIC LIBRARY CURTAINS HANG OVER A FROSTED WINDOW WITH AN OLD CHINA LAMP ILLUMINATING THE BOOTH.
NICE.
WHILST ENJOYING MY TADDY, I KEPT EXPECTING POIROT TO WANDER PAST WITH A KANE CLUTCHED IN HIS PRISTINE MITT..

INSPECTOORRR, AND WHERE IS ZEEE TADDY, NON?





THE DEEP OAK WALLS OOZE CLASS.
THERE IS AN UPSTAIRS BUT I DIDN'T VENTURE THERE, I WAS FAR TOO  COMFORTABLE IN THE BOOTH.







SO WHAT ABOUT THE HOOCH? I HEAR YOU CRY....
WELL, SPOT ON...
THE TADDY WAS IN TOP FORM. THE GLASS HAD MORE BUBBLES THEN MICHAEL JACKSON. THE HEAD ON THE LAGER WAS PERFECT. C.A.M.R.A MAY WELL REQUEST THE FULL PINT, BUT THIS WAS A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF WHAT A PINT OF LAGER SHOULD LOOK LIKE. IT'S WORTH MENTIONING THAT I RECENTLY PAID 4 POUNDS FOR A FLAT PINT OF BECKS IN A PUB IN KILBURN. I SHAN'T NAME AND SHAME THEM BECAUSE.... AHHHH, TO HELL WITH THAT.
IT WAS THE BLACK LION. 
THE BEER WAS FLAT. THE SERVICE WAS RUDE. THE CHAP BEHIND THE BAR IN HIS STUPID LOOKING WAISTCOAT (SOMETHING A 5 YEAR OLD WOULD WEAR IN 1976) MADE A DELIBERATE ATTEMPT TO HUMILIATE MYSELF AND MY FRIEND (DERRICK) BECAUSE I SUSPECT, HE FELT WE WERE NOT UP TO HIS EVER SO HIGH STANDARDS. HE CLAIMED I WAS SLURRING (I WASN'T) BUT STILL SERVED THE DRINK BY TOSSING THE GLASS AT ME.
THE LYCEUM WAS THE BEST CUSTOMER SERVICE I HAD EVER RECEIVED IN CONTRAST.
THE SERVICE WAS POLITE AND THE COUPLE RUNNING THE PLACE SAID HELLO TO ME AS MY DRINK WAS POURED.





THE COUPLE RUNNING PLACE ARE DEFINITELY WORTH MENTIONING HERE.
THEY WERE BUSY CLEANING THE WINDOWS WITH GREAT PRIDE AND TAKING CARE OF THE PATRONS. 10 POINTS!!!
ITS PUBS LIKE THIS, THAT MAKE SAMUEL SMITH THE NUMERO UNO IN THE BOOZE TRADE. NO QUESTION. I HAVE BEEN TALKING TO PEOPLE ON A SAMUEL SMITH FORUM. THE OWNER HUMPHREY SMITH HAS COME UNDER MUCH CRITICISM FOR HIS ANTICS AND METHODS OF RUNNING A BUSINESS. PEOPLE ON THERE SEEM TO HAVE A GREAT LOVE FOR THE BEER, NOT SO MUCH LOVE FOR HUMPHREY. WHEREVER YOU STAND, THIS PUB CHAIN WIPES THE FLOOR WITH ALL OTHERS. WEATHERSPOONS AND GREENKING COME CLOSE. UNCLE SAM IS TOP DOG. THIS PUB IS THE BEST EXAMPLE YET OF A BRILLIANT EMPIRE.








IF I'M ON THE SUBJECT. THE FOOD. THE BREWERY NEEDS TO PUT SOME MORE THOUGHT INTO THE FOOD. THE FOOD IS GOOD QUALITY, BUT COULD DO WITH MORE VARIATION.
THE MENU'S LOOK DRAB.
BRIGHTER MENUS WOULD REALLY TAKE THIS CHAIN TO NEXT LEVEL. WEATHERSPOONS DOES FOOD BETTER, I AM SORRY TO SAY. BUT NOT THE BEER. THAT IS FOR CERTAIN.
I JUST WISH THEY WOULD BRING BACK D PILS AND THE ORIGINAL ALPINE!!








AS I WAS ORDERING, THERE WAS OLD CHAP WAS AT THE BAR. AS THE YOUNG LADY ACKNOWLEDGED HIM WHILST  POURING MY TADDY, HE TURNED TO ME AND SAID "ALL THE YOUNG FOLK LIKE THE TADDY STUFF! ME? OBB ALL THE WAY. PROPER BEER"....







THE DIVIDE BETWEEN THE YOUNG AND THE OLD IS APPARENT IN  MANY ASPECTS OF MY LIFE THESE DAYS AND ESPECIALLY IN THE SAMUEL SMITH PUBS. THE OLDER DRINKERS SHOOTING RESENTFUL LOOKS AND THE YOUNG WHIPPER SNAPPERS HAVING FUN. MOST OF THE OLD FOLK PROBABLY DON'T UNDERSTAND THE NEW WORLD THAT SURROUNDS THEM.
I DON'T EITHER TO BE PERFECTLY HONEST.
I THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT THE OLD CHAP SAID AS I LEFT THE LYCEUM. IN THE BOOK 'TO KILL A MOCKING BIRD' BY HARPER LEE, THE CHARACTER ATTICUS SAYS "TO TRULY UNDERSTAND A MAN, YOU MUST GET IN HIS SHOES AND WALK AROUND IN THEM FOR A BIT"..
I THOUGHT ABOUT THIS QUOTE. I CALLED INTO 'THE ORDNANCE ARMS' AFTER GETTING OFF THE TRAIN.
I ORDERED AN OBB.
THE OLD FELLA KNEW WHAT HE WAS TALKING ABOUT.


1 comment:

  1. Dont agree man in a box the Sugar loaf and the Rising Sun are tops for me,but who cares excluding Ordnance Gazebo and Swiss cottage,all Humphs London Establishments are tops.Compared with JDW/CAMRA establishments (I consider them the same firm) Humph is king.The good news about JDW/Camra pubs is they are excellent public toilets as they open at 0900,dont buy anything wouldnt want to encourage them.

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