THE GLASSHOUSE STORES



ALPINE RATING: 8 OUT OF 10


55 BREWER STREET, LONDON, W1F 9UN.
PICCADILLY CIRCUS, OXFORD CIRCUS TUBE.




AAHHHH... THE LOST ART OF THE PUB CRAWL. BOUNCING FROM PUB TO PUB! NAUGHTY BUT NICE!!! ESPECIALLY ON A HOT DAY!
HOWEVER, THESE DAYS WITH THE RISING PRICE OF BEER AND GENERAL ATTITUDES TO US 'EVIL BEER DRINKERS', THE TRUSTY PUB CRAWL IS FADING TO A DISTANT MEMORY. AAAANYWAY........
IN THIS PART OF THE WORLD YOU  CAN HIT FOUR OF UNCLE SAMS RATHER MAGNIFICENT ALE HOUSES IN THE SPACE OF AN HOUR. THE PUBS THEMSELVES ARE ONLY A COUPLE OF MINUTES AWAY FROM EACH OTHER. THE 'DUKE OF ARGYLL' AND 'THE GLASSHOUSE STORES' ARE ACUALLY A COUPLE OF DOORS APART. YOU CAN SEE EACH ONE PERFECTLY FROM EACH SULLIED DOORWAY.
THE CRAWL I DID WAS THUS:


THE RED LION
THE JOHN SNOW
THE GLASSHOUSE STORES
THE DUKE OF ARGYLL



IF YOU WERE TO PUSH THE CRAWL, YOU COULD INCLUDE 'THE WHITE HORSE' WHICH IS ABOUT 12 MINUTES AWAY FROM THE 'THE GLASSHOUSE STORES'...
LIKE 'THE CHAMPION' I HAD TO VISIT THE PUB TWICE. THE JURY WAS OUT THE FIRST TIME. 
IT WAS A WELL THOUGHT DECISION I CONCLUDED TO. I HAD TO VISIT AGAIN AS I COULDN'T WRITE A FAIR REVIEW FOR THIS PUB.
 WHY?
GOOD QUESTION!! THE FIRST VISIT I HAD TAKEN IN ABOUT 3 OTHER UNCLE SAMS HOUSES AND DECIDED THAT MY PALETE MAY HAVE BEEN SLIGHTLY BLUNTED BY FANTASTICALLY TANGY UNCLE SAMS LAGER TO MAKE A BALANCED JUDGEMENT. THE FIRST VISIT YOU SEE WAS A RATHER ODD EXPERIENCE....


 BRAHMS?..... I COULD WELL HAVE BEEN ON THE FIRST VISIT, BUT I WAS PUZZLED ALSO. 
ON WALKING IN, I WAS GREETED BY A RETRO SKINHEAD SMOKING A FAG OUTSIDE. HE WAS A SIGHT TO BEHOLD, REAL '1968 FOREVER' STUFF. 18 HOLE DOC MARTINS, BRUTUS SHIRT AND BRACES...
HEADING TO THE BAR, I THEN CLOCKED A CHAP WITH AVIATOR GLASSES AND A HUGE QUIFF. ELVIS???!!!
WHAT THE F**K WAS GOING ON IN THIS PLACE??!!!!




NEVER THE LESS, I STARTED TO DRINK MY TADDY AND TRY TO ACT UNFAZED BY THE WAX MUSEUM SURROUNDING ME.
THE PEOPLE WERE ODD, THE PUB IS ODD. IT'S A BIZARRE L SHAPE. IT HAS A BANNISTER AT THE END OF THE PUB FOR NO APPARENT REASON!!
WHILST DRINKING MY PINT, A CHAP WANDERED INTO THE BAR WITH HIS WIFE. THEY LOOKED NORMAL. THEY WERE SPANISH TOURISTS AS IT GOES. THEY ALSO SEEMED RATHER PUZZLED BY THE PEOPLE IN THERE TOO. THEY ASKED ME WHAT WAS GOOD TO DRINK AS THEY HAD NEVER BEEN IN A SAMS BEFORE. I ADVISED. SAID GOODBYE AND HEADED OFF THE SWISS......
I THOUGHT NO MORE OF THIS GLASSHOUSE PLACE...
THE NEXT MORNING IT WAS A HAZY MEMORY..



SO I RETURNED.. IT WAS A DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE. NOT NEARLY AS STRANGE AS THE FIRST TIME.

I JUST WANT TO GET ONE CRITISISM OFF MY CHEST.
 THE BAR!!
 ITS AT THE ENTRANCE AND THATS FINE. BUT... I WISH THEY WOULD TIDY UP A BIT. IT LOOKS TERRIBLE!! PENS AND PAPER ALL OVER THE PLACE. DIRTY STICKERS ON THE WOODWORK INFORMING THE STAFF WHERE THE PENS ARE! YUK!! NASTY..... GET RID OF IT PLEEEASE!!
IF THE STAFF CAN'T DIFFERENCIATE BETWEEN PENCILS AND PENS, THEN THEY SHOULDN'T BE POURING TADDYS. SAMUEL SMITH BEER AND PUBS SHOULD BE TREATED WITH THE RESPECT THEY DESERVE!! HALFWITS SHOULD BE BARRED, NOT EMPLOYED!



THE PUB THOUGH ASIDE FROM TATTY BEHIND THE BAR STICKERS IS ACTUALLY PRETTY GOOD.
I LOVE THE SEATING AND COSY ENVIROMENT. THE SERVICE IS POLITE, FRIENDLY AND FAST!! VERY FAST, *JOHN WAYNE VOICE* "FASTEST DAMN TADDY IN THE WEST!... PILGRIM..."
YOU CAN SIT BY THE BAR, AS MANY DO AND CHAT TO RANDOM PATRONS. I HAVE TO SAY I THOUGHT AT ONE POINT THIS PLACE WAS THE RUNT OF THE LITTER, BUT GHEEZE, HOW WRONG I WAS!
I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY WANT TO SPEND A LAZY SATURDAY AFTERNOON HERE GORGING ON TADDY. 
THIS PUB IS WHAT US LADS SOMETIMES CALL GIRLS ' A BORDERLINE BOILER'...
IT ISN'T COSMETICALLY PLEASING, BUT SOMEHOW STILL OOOZES SEX APPEAL. THIS IS  WHAT THE GLASSHOUSE STORES IS ALL ABOUT!!
YOU JUST CAN'T PUT YOUR FINGER ON IT. SOMEHOW IT HAS CHARM, A WARM ATTRACTION....



IT REPRESENTS ALL THAT'S IMPERFECT IN SOHO. 
DIRTY, GRITTY, AND CHOKED FULL OF CHARACTER!!!!
DON'T BE FOOLED BY THE OUTSIDE! YES, 'THE DUKE OF ARGYLL' MAY LOOK BIGGER AND MORE APPEALING, BUT THIS PUB DESERVES YOUR ATTENTION.
YOUR SPOILT FOR CHOICE WHEN IT COMES TO SAM SMITH PUBS HERE, BUT MARK MY WORDS. THIS PLACE IS AN UNDISCOVERED GEM. MISS THIS AT YOUR PERIL.
WHAT A GREAT PUB. 
THIS IS ENGLAND BROTHERS AND SISTERS.
AND ENJOY IT WHILE IT'S STILL HERE. 
BEFORE THE DARK, SANITISED AND MATHEMATICAL PAPER SHAPED FUTURE FORCES US ALL TO LIVE IN THE FASCIST, BORING AND DULL LIFE ZEE FUHRER ADOLF HITLER ORIGINALLY ENVISIONED IN HIS SMALL, SICK LITTLE MIND.
IF YOU BELIEVE IN THE BRITISH PINT, PLEASE SIGN THIS ONLINE PETITION:


AND WATCH 'THE PEOPLE VS LARRY FLYNT'.

 IF YOU DON'T AGREE, THEN F**K OFF. NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR YOUR 'DEBATE'. IT'S LIKE THE BNP EXTOLLING THE VIRTUES OF ETHNIC CLEANSING, ALTHOUGH YOU MAY BELIEVE YOUR LIBERAL, YOUR CLEARLY NOT! DESTROY THE BRITISH PUB AND LEAVE 1 MILLION OUT OF WORK. FEEL SMUG NOBODY DESERVES FUN AND YOU HAVE DEPRIVED US ALL OF ANY LIBATION. THE SOLUTION TO BINGE DRINKING AND SOCIAL ILLNESS IS PUNISH US ALL BECAUSE OUR SYSTEM HAS NEITHER THE INTELLIGENCE, NOR THE BALLS TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM. 

IT'S JUST LIKE A TEACHER KEEPING THE CLASS  BACK FROM DETENTION AFTER ONE PUPILS BAD DEEDS. 
EVERYBODY MUST SUFFER!!

DO US A FAVOR, PISS OFF AND PLAY WITH THE TRAFFIC.

DON'T BE A ZOMBIE PEOPLE! 
DO YOU REALLY WANT THE WORLD OF THE FUTURE POPULATED WALKING ROBOCOPS?. NOPE, ME EITHER...............

I'M A HUMAN BEING GODDAMIT!!!
I'M A HUMAN BEING GODDAMIT!!!


IF YOU AGREE WITH ANYTHING I'VE SAID, THEN LISTEN O THIS LINK!!

SAMDMAN - REVOLUTION



IF YOU LIKED THAT LINK, DOWNLOAD THIS ALBUM:

LUCID MOVER AKA SANDMAN - CODE OF THE ROADRUNNER.

AND IT'S FREE!!!! TOP ALBUM. EVEN THE DEAD COULD SHAKE A LEG TO THIS!!



RIGHTEOUS BROTHERS ALL ACTING SATANIC....




IF YOUR STILL READING, MUCH LOVE. YOUR EVIDENTLY A TRUE BEER AFICIONADO.

OR BELIEVE IN FREEDOM. GOOD FOR YOU......

THIS IS A WICKED PUB. DON'T FEEL GUILTY FOR ENJOYING LAGER. YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON. PEACE.


OH BY THE WAY... WITH REGARDS TO THE PUB......

THE SIGN OUTSIDE WAS HILARIOUS. 
IT GETS AN EXTRA POINT FOR THAT!




2 comments:

  1. Maybe you should sober up before posting ? You come across as a drunken fuckwit.

    ReplyDelete
  2. And you sir come across as a sexually frustrated plastic paddy.
    Now fuck off.....

    ReplyDelete