THE WHITE HORSE



ALPINE RATING: 7 OUT OF 10


45 RUPERT STREET, SOHO, LONDON, W1D 7PB.
PICCADILLY AND LEICESTER SQUARE TUBE.





THERE ARE THINGS I LIKE IN LIFE. STYLE COUNCIL ALBUMS, REEBOK TRAINERS, GREASY KEBABS, UN PC COMEDY.  SAMUEL SMITH BOOZERS AND TADDY LAGER. THOSE LAST TWO ARE TOP OF THE LIST. WITHOUT A DOUBT.
SO.....
WHAT, INDEED....
ARE.....
THE THINGS I DON'T LIKE....

WHERE TO BEGIN.....

WELL, FIRST OF, THE FACT MY OWN  GENERATION THINK THAT THEY KNOW HOW ALL OF US SHOULD LIVE OUR LIVES BECAUSE THEY HAVE A HALF DECENT EDUCATION AND ACCESS TO THE INTERNET. THAT ANNOYS ME.
PEOPLE OVER THE AGE OF 25 WHO SAY 'NANG', PLEASE GROW UP...
TOP OF THE LIST. ENGLISH ACTORS. Y'KNOW THE ONES. EMMA THOMPSON, BEN KINGSLEY.  POMPOUS PRATS WHO LOST TOUCH WITH REALITY A LONG TIME AGO.
I SAW GREG WISE ONCE READING A CHRISTMAS STORY IN THE BACK OF A BLACK TAXI ON TELEVISION. SMUG, ARROGANT AND SPEAKING IN THE QUEENS ENGLISH. IT WAS HORRIBLE.  IF THERE WAS EVER A MAN WHO NEEDED SOMEBODY TO HOLD A MIRROR UP SO HE COULD SEE THE AWFUL, COMPLETE AND UTTER ARSE OF A HUMAN BEING STARING BACK, IT'S THIS GUY. PAINFUL TO SAY THE LEAST. IT MADE MY S**T ITCH. EERRCCHHH.
EVER SEEN A GOOD BRITISH FILM?... NO ME EITHER. WHY? BECAUSE THEY ARE WRITTEN BY AND STAR THEATRE ACTORS. I HAVE SEEN THESE IDIOTS ON CHAT SHOWS (PLASTIC FACES, PLASTIC SMILES) LAUGH AND CRITICISE THE AMERICANS QUALITY OF TELEVISION AND FILM. 
THE YANKS FILMS AND TELEVISION SERIES MAY NOT BE UP OUR EVER SO HIGH STANDARDS, BUT THEIR ACTORS DON'T SEEM UP THEIR OWN ARSES AS MUCH AS OUR LOVIES.
LOOK, WHO WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE A PINT WITH? HUGH GRANT OR SHAUN RYDER?
SHAUN WOULDN'T BANG ON ABOUT "CRACKING THE BOARDS IN HIS TIME".... BORE OFF.


 AND WHAT 'MAN IN THE BOX' DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH SAMUEL SMITH BOOZERS?
THE WHITE HORSE IS SLAP BANG IN THE MIDDLE OF THEATRE LAND. OPPOSITE THE GIELGUD THEATRE. HOME TO HALF OF THESE TWERPS.
I IMAGINE MOST OF THE LOVIES HAVE HAD A PINT IN HERE OVER THE YEARS.



THE PUB ITSELF IS LOVELY.
THE CUSTOMER SERVICE HERE HAS BEEN THE BEST I HAVE RECEIVED IN ANY PUB YET.
QUICK, CHATTY AND LOTS OF SMILES!! CRIKEY.
NATURALLY, THE TADDY WAS IN TOP FORM. IT WAS VERY TRADITIONAL LIKE THE BEST HOUSES OF UNCLE SAM.




THE CHESS BOARD FLOOR WAS IN FULL EFFECT AND THERE WAS NOT A 'LOVEY' IN SIGHT. SAYING THAT. IAN MCKELLEN WON'T BE IN HERE. HE OWNS HIS OWN BOOZER, THE GRAPES I BELIEVE ITS CALLED. A PINT IN THE GRAPES COSTS A TENNER I EXPECT, BUT IAN GETS RESPECT FOR BUYING A BOOZER.




OOOOHHHH, BEER MATS. THEY HAVE BEER MATS. BULLSEYE!!! IT DEFINITELY HAS THE FEEL OF AN OLD STATELY HOME. A TRADITIONAL FIREPLACE SITS NEXT TO AN OLD GRANDFATHERS CLOCK. THE CLOCK IN QUESTION STOPPED LONG AGO AND IT'S ONCE WHITE FACE IS NO LONGER WHITE. "BUT -IT-STOPPED. SHORT. NEVER-TO-GO-AGAIN WHEN-THE-OLD-MAN-DIED".....
HE'D HAVE DIED IN 1971, JUDGING FROM WHERE I'M STANDING.




THE MENUS. I HAVE TO SAY, THERE WAS A MENU ON EVERY TABLE. SO IT'S CLEAR THAT THEY DO A CRACKING TRADE ON PUB GRUB. THERE WERE AT LEAST THREE DIFFERENT TABLES ORDERING GRUB WHILST I WAS IN THERE. THIS MAY BE UNIQUE TO THE PUB CHAIN, MORE PEOPLE ORDERING FOOD AS OPPOSED TO BEER.

THE PLATES COMING PAST SMELT WONDERFUL, BUT TO QUOTE HUNTER S THOMPSON "THOSE OF US WHO HAD BEEN UP ALL NIGHT WERE IN NO MOOD FOR COFFEE AND DONUTS. WE WANTED STRONG LIQUOR. AND LOTS OF IT"....
PINT OF TADDY PLEEEASE...




THERE WAS UPSTAIRS, BUT IT WAS CLOSED. IF IT WAS ANYTHING LIKE THE DOWNSTAIRS, THEN IT'S FAB. IT LOOKS BIGGER ON THE OUTSIDE, THEN ON IT'S INSIDE. THIS IS A LOVELY BOOZER. IT WAS VERY CLEAN. PERFECT FOR GRUB.
NOT SURE IF IT'S A PLACE FOR A SESSION, BUT GOOD FOR A BITE TO EAT. OR EVEN AFTER WATCHING SOME PONCEY RUBBISH NEAR BY.



I'M A SUCKER FOR BIG OLD BEER LAMPS AND THE ONE ABOVE THE ENTRANCE IS CRACKING. I'VE NEVER SEEN A WHITE HORSE BEFORE. OHH WAIT, I THINK I HAVE. IT  WAS SOME AWFUL DRIVEL ON THE BBC. KENNETH BRANNER WAS RIDING IT. AN ASS ON TOP OF A HORSE. WHO KNEW......


1 comment:

  1. Dont care man in a box if the actors have f...all to do with Sammy pubs youre spot on as always,anyway Ian mckellen owns a bar not a pub,seen a photo of of it sofas arm chairs and clear windows and its in murdoch land.back to the White horse couldnt go in the place if that bunch of tosspots use it...Rising Sun for me a hint of Smithfield without the blood.

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