ALPINE LAGER




I DON'T KNOW WHY I LOVE THEIR BEER AND PUBS SO MUCH, BUT I DO. I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT TO PEOPLE. HOLD ON LET ME START FROM THE BEGINNING.
ALPINE... ALPINE BEER TO BE PRECISE. SOMETIMES I CRY. I WAKE UP AT NIGHT SOBBING INTO A PILLOW. YOU SEE, IT WAS THE STAPLE LAGER OF UNCLE SAMS PUBS. 'MAN IN THE BOX' AS  IT WAS LOVINGLY REFERRED TOO BY THOSE WHO MADE UP THE CROWD OF CULT FOLLOWERS OF THIS WONDERFUL TIPPLE. ITS ORIGINAL NAME WAS 'AYINGERBRAU' AND US THICKO LAGER DRINKERS CAN'T SPEAK GERMAN (WE STRUGGLE WITH ENGLISH MOST DAYS) SO WE WOULD TAP THE BEER PUMP AND SAY "MAN IN THE BOX PLEASE BARKEEP". IT HAD A PICTURE OF A HAPPY OLD GERMAN GEEZER RAISING A BEER STEIN IN THE AIR. HE BEING 'THE MAN IN THE BOX'.
 THE BREWERY CHANGED THE NAME TO HELP US. IT WAS RENAMED 'ALPINE'..
SOMETIMES I WOULD SIT IN 'THE EARL OF LONSDALE' OR 'YE OLDE SWISS COTTAGE' ON A HOT DAY AND GUZZLE ALPINE LIKE A VAMPIRE GORGING ON BLOOD AFTER BEING STARVED FOR 400 YEARS. ITS LEMONY GOODNESS SATISFYING MY EMPTY SOUL.
THEN THE UNTHINKABLE HAPPENED....

SAMUEL SMITH GOT RID OF IT

IT DID RETURN, BUT IT BE WASN'T THE SAME ANYMORE. THE FAT GERMAN MAN ON THE BEER PUMP HAD BEEN CASTRATED. HE WAS NOW ONLY 2.8 ABV. IT WAS ALL SOMETHING TO DO WITH LOWER STRENGTH HOOCH HAVING A TAX BREAK AND COSTING LESS.

IT WAS REPLACED WITH 'TADDY' WHICH IS GORGEOUS, BUT BEING GREEDY THE FIRST THOUGHT THAT POPPED INTO MY HEAD WAS "WHY NOT HAVE BOTH?"....

I BOUGHT ON EBAY AN 'AYINGERBRAU' BEER PUMP HEAD.... 6 QUID IT COST ME. NOT BAD, EH? IT SITS IN MY LIVING ROOM. I GAZE AT IT MOST DAYS WHILST WATCHING 'MINDER' ON THE IDIOT BOX. WHY I UPSET MYSELF LIKE THIS I DON'T KNOW. IT'S LIKE HAVING A DEAD PERSONS ASHES IN YOUR LIVING ROOM TO REMIND YOU EVERYDAY.
I WEAR A BLACK ARMBAND.




SO WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN 'TADDY' AND 'ALPINE'?
TADDY IS TANGY AND RICH.
ALPINE IS/WAS LIGHT, LEMONY AND REFRESHING....

SO... THERE YOU HAVE IT.....
OH AND FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH I WROTE TO THE BREWERY AND FOUND OUT WHO THE MAN IN THE BOX WAS....
HIS NAME WAS HERR INSELKAMMER AND HE WAS THE FOUNDER OF THE AYINGERBRAU BREWERY.


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